Okay it’s like… The day before Doomsday. A few hours to the scariest exam I will have ever taken thus far and I will finally be done with my studies in Norway!!!!!
Time actually passed by really quickly… I can’t believe I’ll be home in about a month or so. Ok but I can’t say I’m feeling bitter/happy about anything now because I am just f*cking worried about the paper tomorrow.
The prof said “no surprises” so I’m betting my WHOLE FRICKIN LIFE on what he said. I did all my assignments, TWICE. I can’t believe it. I better be smiling and not foaming in the exam hall tomorrow. THIS EXAM HAS RUINED MY DAMN BODY AND SELF-ESTEEM SO IT BETTER BE WORTH IT.
Ok why do I say that. I say that because I am HORRIBLE when it comes to dealing with stress. Especially exam stress. I end up eating and eating and eating craploads of junk food. Indiscriminately. I am so f*cking fat right now and I know it’s not a joke because my jeans are horribly tight and today I put on my H&M shirt and it was tight at the freaking sleeve. WHAT THE HELL!!!! It’s cotton. How the heck does a cotton plain tee become tight… I am so damn upset about this.
But honestly I can’t help it… It’s like. If I give a sh*t about my diet and not binge eat while studying I just can’t progress??? It’s damn annoying but this happens all the freakin’ time. I always get super bloody fat and obese during major examinations (PSLE, O Levels, A Levels…) and it RUINS my self-esteem. I feel so horrible about how I look right now. Just now I looked in the mirror before I took a bath and I was like… “Holy crap I am so fat.”
Okay and people this is not a case of a skinny b*tch who’s complaining about being fat OK?!?! I am not the tallest person around (hurhur surprise -_-) and I gain weight just by breathing. So you can just imagine how binge-eating rubbish + not having regular meals ends up on a girl who’s only 5ft short. DAMN SIAN. Really damn sian. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I might actually be like f*cking 50 KG or something now. What the hell. Damn disgusting I feel like a pig.
The only good thing about being in Norway now is that everyone’s wrapped up in thick coats and shit so I can kinda hide some of that weight gain under my beautiful coats.
BUT THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH I CAN HIDE. FML. HOW TO HIDE THE DOUBLE CHIN??? THE MISSING THIGH GAP????
No f*cking way la that’s what.
I am really upset about this weight gain, but I am also going to be flying to Brussels, Italy and Spain a day after my paper ends… So…. I don’t exactly have time to lose weight?!?! Even worse.. HOW TO TAKE NICE PICTURES NOW?!?! T_T NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! And I bet you I’ll be busy eating (and shopping kekeke) my way through those cities. Diets just DON’T exist on holidays. I’m also going to London in Jan. I’ve made reservations and a whole list of what I’m gna 100% HAVE TO TRY when I’m there.
Oh my God………………
How the hell does everyone else do this?!?! How the HECK do you travel so much and not gain weight when on exchange?! I don’t get it!!! It’s so unfair……….. I mean like. Most of my friends don’t even exercise but they just don’t gain weight…. Even with all that good food that they’re eating. Can I please be blessed with some of that metabolism?!?!?
Sucks to be short and fat and ugly. My rant is over. I better pass that goddamn exam tomorrow.